Sparks Fly
by Foxy'sGirl
Summary: Songfic to Taylor Swift's "Sparks Fly."  Astrid really doesn't know what to think about Hiccup anymore or why she feels this way.


**I have never written a songfic before, this one just got in my head and I figured that a little oneshot wouldn't hurt anyone…unless it's awful. But I hope it's not awful. **

**I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, however I did win the board game the other day when I was playing as Snotlout, so that's something. I also got my little cousin a breast hat for her birthday, so I'm pretty hooked up. Not going to lie…**

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Astrid really doesn't know how it got to this point. She doesn't know when exactly she stopped being sensible and angry and tough, and she definitely doesn't remember turning into this much of a sap. For _Hiccup_, no less.

_The way you move is like a full on rainstorm  
And I'm a house of __cards__  
You're the kind of reckless  
That should send me runnin'  
But I kinda know that I won't get far  
And you stood there in front of me  
Just close enough to touch  
Close enough to hope you couldn't see  
What I was thinking of_

It's just…Aaah! In the few weeks since he woke up she's gone crazy. Completely, utterly insane! She just keeps catching herself _watching _him. He's in the mead hall, he's around the forge, he's hobbling up the hill to his house a little too unstably. He's staring at her from across the converted training center wondering if he should come over and say something.

And she wants him to come over and say something. Why is she even noticing him?

And more importantly, why does she act like a complete moron whenever he does say anything to her?

Her heart jumps into her throat and the first reaction is always, 'Run away! Don't show fear!', because that's what the emotion feels like. She feels _terrified_ of him. Her heart beats so fast it feels like it's trying to break out of her body, and her palms start to sweat, and when he stutters her entire body just thrums. She can never control what she says either, half of the time it's embarrassingly revealing and pathetic, and he surely can tell that she's gone completely mad. But then the rest of the time she can't help but be despicably rude because she feels so exposed in front of him.

And he's not necessarily _safe_. No one ever mentions it, because he's the new hero, but there's really not much guarantee of his survival. Not only does missing half a leg double – maybe triple – his already pronounced clumsiness, but rival tribes are threatening war because of Berk's association with the dragons.

It's not even like he's an admirable fighter. He's still just as physically weak and incapable as he ever was, and at this point it's just irresponsible to remain so weak and defenseless. Dragons are great, but if anyone ever got close to him with an axe...A lot of people – not necessarily her, of course – would be losing a potential leader and a great friend.

And Astrid realizes the possibility that Hiccup's not going to be around all that much longer, and she knows that it means she should avoid him. No point in getting attached to something impermanent, because that only leads to heartache. That's why babies aren't properly named until the end of their first winter, otherwise the annual loss would be too grave, and the Vikings can't be seen moping about. That would ruin everything.

Somehow though, every time that she decides he's not worth it, she finds herself staring at him the next day, or sometimes even sooner. It's like something is telling her that even if her time knowing him is fleeting, it will be worth it.

It's an awful, horrible feeling. This desire to _know_ him. She wants to help him up when he falls, she wants to listen to his inane jokes, she wants to try and understand the inventions that seem so unnecessary and ridiculous to her. And gods, when he stands an arms length in front of her and scratches the back of his head, staring at her feet and stuttering…

If anyone knew what she's thinking about when he stands that close, she'd be called out as a mad woman.

The worst part is, sometimes it seems like he can just read her mind, and he knows that she's in crisis about _him_. __

Drop everything now  
Meet me in the pouring rain  
Kiss me on the sidewalk  
Take away the pain  
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile  
Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down  
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around  
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

She doesn't know why, but she thinks about him most on rainy nights like this one, when she's curled up in bed, warm and comfortable under the furs, with her dragon snoring softly on the floor beside her.

Maybe it's because she can't shake the image of that awful fight from her mind. The Red Death sounded like thunder, and every seemingly futile blast of plasma that Toothless shot into the clouds seemed like a bolt of lightning. She's never admitted it to anyone, but she can't sleep now when the thunder's too loud, and sometimes she jerks awake so abruptly that she swears her own scream must have awakened her.

Those are the worst nights. When she can hear the sound of that axe in her head and it echoes, bouncing and tripping over all of her thoughts and making her dwell on the awful whimper that his unconscious form had released when the sharp metal tore through what was left of his lower leg. She remembers feeding Toothless, because he refused to leave Hiccup's side, and she almost ruined everything when she offered the Night Fury an eel. She didn't know that there was anything wrong with it, and it had been the first thing that she'd found in the last remaining ship's storage room.

The dragon had bared its teeth at her and become something else entirely, something feared. For just those few seconds, Toothless had been the dragon that everyone expected. When she'd dropped the eel in surprise at the normally peaceful dragon's reaction, the beast had gone back to cooing softly at Hiccup, as though hoping to wake him.

Or maybe the storm has nothing to do with her thinking about Hiccup. She's probably just bored, and it's hard to drift off with the rain pounding on the thatch above her head.

Sometimes, she wonders what would happen if she went and told him that she thinks about him. She'd do it like a Viking, no mincing words, no beating around the bush. She would just go to his house, knock on the door, and when he answers she'll just stand strong in front of him and say "I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about you."

Like that would happen.

If anything it's more likely that he'll be the one to show up on her doorstep, soaked through and looking smaller than normal, with his woolen clothes matted and clinging to him. His leg would probably be really obvious, tenting the bottom of his pants because the wooden support of the metal is so much wider than the calf that it replaces.

She's afraid that if she saw him in the middle of the night, she'd kiss him. It's not that she's afraid of kissing him, because that's completely absurd, and Vikings aren't afraid of anything, let alone each other's lips. She's just afraid that he'd see how badly she wants to kiss him.

Every time she watches him, she can't help but wish that he would walk over and grab her and kiss her, but like every other part of her little problem, it's stronger on rainy nights.

Maybe she thinks that if she could touch him, hold him, kiss him that she wouldn't be so affected by her nightmares. There are dreams where she's back on that beach and…and…Hiccup's _not_. Well, his body is always there, bloody and broken and battered beyond belief, but he's gone. Those dreams are the ones where she wakes up with her face buried in a wet pillow and she spends an hour searching the roof above her head for leaks so that she won't have to let herself recognize her own tears. Vikings don't cry, and more importantly, she doesn't cry over Hiccup.

She doesn't know why it hurts when she imagines his eyes being closed forever. His eyes…

She hates that she's noticed that they're the most spectacular shade of emerald. They look at everything like they're trying to see a schematic. He figures out the most complicated of mechanics with a single glance, and she can't help but feel that she's comparatively simple and he's seen right through her. His eyes always light up when he sees her and she has the gall to make eye contact, and the dizziness that sets in when he holds her gaze makes her angry. He has no right to suck her in like that, who does he think he is?

She should just look away, but it's impossible. It's like she's hypnotized and all that she can think about is just how soft his lips look. She hates it. All of it. All of the strong emotions that she's never experienced before. They make her feel like a little girl again, listening to stories of trolls and fairies and drinking their magic in like truth.

His eyes are almost as bad as his smile. He hardly ever smiles at her, because he's normally too busy blushing and stuttering to move his mouth properly, but when he does…It's like a _bonfire_. She feels warm into her very core and she chokes on smoke that's not there, and even her feet feel like they're glowing in the presence of something _big_.

Sometimes she wants to kiss him just so that it doesn't seem like a fairy tale anymore. Maybe if she actually pursues him, he'll start acting like the rest of the boys her age and she'll lose interest. He'll start talking about marriage and what his woman should be like and trying to impress her with failed feats of strength. But what if he doesn't change? What if he stays so sweet and infuriating and…and…and _Hiccup_? What would she do then?

Well, she'd just have to suck it up and fall in love with him, wouldn't she? And then what? Get married and pop out a few kids? Maybe they'd have red hair and blue eyes, but she really hopes that they have those emerald green eyes like their father—Not that she's thought about their kids extensively or anything.

_My mind forgets to remind me  
You're a bad idea  
You touch me once and it's really something,  
You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be.  
I'm on my guard for the rest of the world  
But with you I know it's no good  
And I could wait patiently but I really wish you would..._

When she kissed him right after he woke up, she'd only done it because she didn't anyone to see the tears that pricked aggressively at the back of her eyes. She'd just been so happy that he was alive and joking and those eyes were open and he looked at her…and then it had been over. She'd beat herself up for hours for kissing him like that. Not only had she embarrassed herself in front of the entire tribe, but she'd done it so quickly that she couldn't remember how it really felt. For some reason, she had wanted to remember how he _tasted_.

Even now, thinking about it, she licks across her lips like maybe some little remnant of him is left behind and she'll be able to detect it's presence.

She'd even had another chance to commit his lips to memory, because she'd kissed him another time about two weeks ago. They'd been outside the mead hall, she had been leaving just at the same instant that he'd arrived, and they'd stopped on the doorstep staring at each other. All of the urges are always stronger when she doesn't expect it and suddenly she's just presented with this Hiccup and he's right there in front of her. There had been small talk, or something, she hadn't really paid attention to what was happening because it had been one of those unfortunate times when she hadn't been able to focus on anything but his lips. They were redder than normal, the vibrant shade making them stand out against the face that was pale from the exertion of climbing the hill to the mead hall.

She doesn't know why she did it. Even at the time it had seemed crazy, but she'd lurched forward, grabbing him by a shoulder and holding him still long enough to graze her lips across his own. That time she'd taken a second to notice the way that his hot breath tickled across her cheeks and felt like a shower of sparks against her skin, but the taste still escaped her. She'd run away without another word. _  
_

Maybe it's her training kicking in, and she's just studying him, so if it ever comes to a fight she'll have the upper hand. Because, of course, recalling the distinct flavor of someone's lips definitely guarantees victory.

She'd almost had a third chance to kiss him when somehow they ended up alone in the woods just on the edge of the village. It had been so close, his hand had even been resting every so gently against the curve of her waist when he'd complimented her in a way that had made her head go fuzzy. She doesn't like that feeling, when nothing's clear anymore and it's like the world is covered by a rosy veil, and she'd spun from his light grip, freaking out at how close she'd been to losing her grip on herself. She'd run away again, and when she saw him at the forge the next day, she'd pretended that nothing had ever happened.

Around him her lies always seem so paper thin. His eyes seem to cut through whatever front she's maintaining around everyone else in the village, like wind through wet linen. She feels exposed when he gives her that critical look, proving that he knows she's lying and he doesn't approve.

Maybe he'll do something about it the next time she lies to him. Maybe he'll call her out on it. Maybe he'll be the one to kiss her next time.

Or maybe they'll be stuck forever in this eternal dance of awkward glances.

_Drop everything now  
Meet me in the pouring rain  
Kiss me on the sidewalk  
Take away the pain  
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile  
Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down  
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around  
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile_

I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild.  
Just keep on keeping your eyes on me, it's just wrong enough to make it feel right.  
_Lead__ me up the staircase  
Won't you whisper soft and slow?  
I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show._

The more that she thinks about him, the odder that her little desires become. At first, yeah, she wanted to kiss him. She wants to know what she was missing out on. Then came the desire to talk to him, to know him. She wants to have inside jokes with him, and understand every little story that he has to tell. But now?

Now things are just getting bizarre. She wants to touch his hair, it's a new fascination that only started a few days ago when she saw the wind whip through his auburn locks and the sun glinted off of the strands in the most fantastic way. She wants to feel his scalp under fingers as she makes the sun play on the red tones that are almost hidden in his unremarkably russet hair. It's disgusting. It's horrendous. She is so soft, and pathetic, and that's not even the worst of it.

She wants to lay her head on his shoulder, and use what looks like the perfect pillow that'll take away her nightmares. She wants him to see her room, just to know what he thinks of it. She wants him to sit on her bed, to see if he really looks as natural there as he does in her head. She wonders if he's someone who has the good sense to be quiet at night, or if he bumps around the house waking everyone up like she does. She despises how she can't help but think about him in every situation of her life.

What if he were in that chair right now? What would he say to her mother? What would he eat for breakfast?

What would he say if he found her right now, awake on a rainy night thinking about him?

Does he think about her too?

Does it bother him as much as it bothers her? Or does he accept it with the same grace that he accepted his missing leg?

What would really happen if she just showed up and asked him?

_Drop everything now,  
Meet me in the pouring rain,  
Kiss me on the sidewalk,  
Take away the pain  
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile.  
Get me with those __green eyes__, baby, as the lights go down  
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around  
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile_

The sparks fly...  
Oh, baby, smile...  
The sparks fly…

Astrid sits up, pulling her boots on and sneaking downstairs, determined to get answers before she goes even more insane.

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**I actually really like this! And I would love to know what all of you think about it! Please leave a review, they mean everything, and if you find any way that I can improve this, I'd love to hear it!**


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